Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
I feel great
I just peed on a car
Last night my friend tried to make out with me in an olive garden. Ahahah
Nothing says 'I love you' like never ending salad and breadsticks
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
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