Left my ID again and at a Giant's game. This is the second time they accepted my handgun safety certificate as proof of ID to buy beer.
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
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I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.”
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