im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
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