i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
Old men and throwing up are my life now.
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
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