I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
I forgot to tell you. Your neighbor was walking his tiny dog and saw me crawl out of my jeep drunk vomiting and holding onto my bumper. He just said: morning! all friendly.
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
Randomize
