That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
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