There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
Randomize
