Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
Hey had an urgent voicemail from the Illinois national guard....have you been using my identity for your blackout weekend?
Yes and yes
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
Randomize
