Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
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