Apparently I farted on her in my sleep. Then, just to be sure she was cool, I did it again on purpose and she didnt say anything. So, WIN?
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
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