You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
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