I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
Randomize
