this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
Convinced the bartender that I'm a congressman. Free Drinks. God bless America.
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
It's going to be weird as hell when you have kids. I'll meet them and think "Hi, Did you know that I was almost your dad?"
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
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