The brown eye won't let me do that either.
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
I'm sorry, our booty call lines closed at 2 am. If you are receiving this message it is our off hours. Please try again between the hours of 12pm and 2 am to reschedule your booty call. Thank you for your cooperation.
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Randomize
