I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
