Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
Congratulations! We have a period
Randomize
