I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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