Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
My mom caught just caught me jerking off...in her room.
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
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