dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
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