she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
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