Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
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