Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
Randomize
