His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
So I've decided that when I turn 50 and have to have a colonoscopy I'm going to leave a surprise for the doctor to find.
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
I need to start dating older women. We tried sexting and she used more emojis than actual words. It was so bad that I did the math...her messages were 54% emoji. No one should make me feel this old when I'm only 28.
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize