I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
you tried to scramble eggs in my dryer last night. i want you here in 15 minutes to clean this shit up
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
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