She's the barista slut.
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
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