I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
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