He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
Thanks for FaceTime'ing with that ugly chick last night while me and her friend were in the other room. it's good to know I can still count on my wingman even when we're 2000 miles apart
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
Randomize
