that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
Randomize
