Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
Randomize
