When my options for Friday night are being a 3rd wheel or bringing a gay man as my date i need to focus on other things in life like having a successful career.
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
They left me at home... I'm a liability
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
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