How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
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