brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
When my kids ask how I lost my virginity Im going to have to tell them of a mythical thing called "Myspace" and how strangers could lure you into their "den of love" thanks to clever quotes and graphics
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
Randomize
