So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
My six-margarita-deep ass just used a blow torch to light the match that lit my bong pack. Peak single 🤦ðŸ¼â€â™€ï¸
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
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