I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
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