dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
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and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
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I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
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