My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
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