grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
Randomize
