He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
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