What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
Randomize
