let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
Randomize
