I have a running excel spreadsheet detailing the number of shots in a night and subsequent ability to masturbate
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
it's great music for shaving your balls
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
Randomize
