Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
