the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
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of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
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