you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
Randomize
