maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
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