at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
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he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
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Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
Randomize