And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
Side Note: Everyone in my office is getting engaged and having baby showers. And I'm all like, fuck your joy, I just want more string cheese in my life.
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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