I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
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