That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
Randomize
