Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I always "accidentally" drop a condom and make sure she sees it's a magnum. By the time I'm inside her and she realizes how small I am, it's all over in a flash and I'm done. Plus, they never call back so I never have to see the girl ever again. #gratefulforprematuretinypenis
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
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