Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
Randomize
