apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
Randomize